What happend with Kyo
by raelle23
Summary: Something bad? happened to Kyo. He's quiet, polite, does his school work, makes no snappy remarks when being teased, and weirdest of all is that he is being nice to Yuik. Yuki is scared for him, he can tell something is off with the usually loud and annoying cat, however he can't figure it out.
1. The day before it all changed

**this is my first fanfic ever so don't be to hard on me i promise that i will do my best not to disappoint. This fanfiction will contain rape and attempted suicide, it will also be really sad so read with caution. I will worn you when it comes up so if you don't like reading that kind of thing then you can skip it the story will still make since so you'll be good. Well i hope you have fun reading and if i mess up or i do something stupid please feel free to review and tell me because i am new at this.**

**Chapter one.**

_**The day before it all changed**_

The house was quiet except for the light patter of Kyo's footsteps on the wood floors. He had gone on a long run, like he did every morning, and was heading to his room to get ready for school. He was careful to keep quiet as to not wake up anyone in the house knowing that a certain cranky rat would sure skin him alive if he woke him up an hour before necessary. It wasn't like he was scared of the damn rat he just didn't want to deal with another embarrassing defeat. For every face plant Kyo suffered as result of the damn rat's perfectly laid out punches and kicks was another peace of pride decenter-grating from his already low self esteem. That's why he was up in the first place to train. He would get up every morning at 4:30am to run and practice his martial arts, however his effort was in vain. He could never even lay a hit on the damn rat. Deciding that today was the day the rat would face defeat Kyo hurried to take his shower and get ready.  
The alarm blared to life next to the rat's ears signalling that he had to get ready for school. Sighing Yuki slowly dragged himself up and out of bed. He fumbled with his clothes and forced them onto his body irritated that he would have to face the stupid cat again for another day. He knew that the cat was training again it was obvious. His muscles were growing and he had quicker reflexes than what he usually had. Yuki sighed again, what a burden it would be to fight Kyo again today it wasn't like Kyo stood a chance against him it was just the Yuki actually had to try when fighting Kyo. If was a first for the rat before when he and the cat would get into fights Yuki could zone out and think about random things like what Tohru had planned for dinner or what he was going to do in school that day, now he had to pay attention to keep form getting hit by the stupid cat. Like hell that stupid cat was going to leave a scratch on him. Yuki finished getting dressed and started heading to the stairs to eat breakfast, when suddenly he felt a presences behind him. He quickly spun around and narrowly dodged a fist flying record speed at his face while kicking forward and landing a perfect roundhouse kick onto no other then Kyo's face sending him flying. he sighed again this sure was going to be a long day.  
As Kyo fell to the floor he mentally cursed of course he lost again if he could of only acted faster he would of got him he was sure of it. He jumped up to his feet once more yelling "you damn rat" before stomping off down stairs dumping past Yuki. He knew he had to get stronger he had to beat Yuki once and for all he was sick of being the fool, the one everyone hated, the one no one loved, if it wasn't for that damn rat he would have people who cared for him, he wouldn't be an outcast to everyone including himself. He knew that the only reason that Tohru was nice to him was because she felt bad for him other than that he had nothing else to offer, he was loud, annoying, snappy and mean she had every right not to like him, hell he didn't even like him. Kazuma only loved him out of guilt he had no one, the only thing that drove him was his desire to beat Yuki and take a place in his family. "If only i could be stronger", he thought to himself as he descended to stairs.

**this is only the first chapter the change in Kyo will happen in the next chapter. hope you liked it. please review**


	2. the incident

Kyo went through the day in an angry fog. Angry at that damn rat for beating him and at himself for losing again to him. When the finial bell rang Kyo all but ran out of class and home not even waiting for Tohru and Yuki. When he got home he ripped off his school uniform and through on his cargo pants and a tight black t-shirt and proceeded to go to his favorite hiding spot,the roof. He seated himself down and stared into the blue sky as he calmed down a bit. He was starting to drift into a comfortable sleep when he noticed dark clouds moving in from the North. His mood started to darken again. How in the hell was he going to train if it rained? He swore that a higher power had it out for him, he could barley even function much less train in the rain, he was weakened in this weather. He was a cat for Christ sakes, but if he skipped a day he wouldn't catch up to Yuki. He knew he couldn't afford to skip a day so he decided to train anyways despite the weather. Kyo Sohma would not let a little rain get into the way of his goal. It was then that he realized he had stood up with his fist raised in the air as in a treat to the rain clouds, he quickly set down feeling foolish hoping no one saw him.

Yuki was walking alongside Tohru on the way to Shigure house. Earlier when Kyo all but fled out of school Tohru had asked him what was wrong with Kyo and he replied that "the stupid cat is probably just upset that i bet him again, there is no need to worry about it Miss. Honda he'll be fine". Though Yuki personally didn't care rather Kyo was fine or not he just wanted to give Tohru a piece of mind he didn't like it when she was upset. As they reach the house Yuki noticed Kyo standing on the roof of the house pumping his fist in the air in anger, then looking around embarrassed before sitting back down on the roof. Kyo was most likely making an oath to bet him "a vain oath" Yuki thought to himself as he entered the house with Tohru. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful Kyo came down for his "hiding" place when the rain started and ate dinner giving Yuki nasty glares every once in a while which Yuki promptly ignored and soon everyone retreated to there bedrooms for the night. As Yuki was tucking himself into bed he had weird feeling. For some reason he wanted to tell Kyo not to train tomorrow he didn't know why he just had a bad feeling about it. He was confused, why would he warn Kyo? What was with this feeling? He didn't care about Kyo so why would he be worrying about him? Thunder cracked and lighting spit through the sky drawing Yuki out of his weird thoughts and even weirder feelings. "Kyo wont go out in the rain he hates the rain, he might be a stupid cat but he wasn't that stupid, right?" Yuki quickly dismissed this thought and went into a deep slumber forgetting all of his worries as his dream carried him off into another world.

Kyo woke up at 4:30am on the dot his internal clock spot on. He quickly got out of bed and got dressed trying to ignore the sluggish movement of his body due to the rain heavily betting outside. He wasn't going to let anything stop him for training. However, he did have to admit that training would suck today. After he put on workout sweets and a plain white t-shirt he tiptoed his way out of his room down the stairs and outside. When he got outside he frowned it looked awful the ground was soaking and mud was traveling down little paths forming tiny rives, the sky was an ominous shade of gray almost black as lightning colored the sky every few seconds. He wanted to get this over with as soon as possible and retreat back into the comfort of his room so he decided to make his usually 4min run down to a mile and a half, he doubted he could even manage that, not with how crappy he was feeling already. He pumped him self up on images of Yuki's demise and started his run, it was agonizing he had run only about three hundred yards and he was already feeling like he was going to pass out the only thing that was keeping him going was his goal, his goal to bet Yuki. He couldn't give up now he had to keep going he already started he might as well finish it. Kyo was so cot up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the three men behind him slowly gaining on him. No, Kyo didn't notice anything until he felt a sharp pain connect with his skull sending shock waves of pain all the way down to his toes as he swayed and fell to the ground unconscious.

**This is where the rape happens it wont be the hole thing just the beginning but it's still going to be pretty sad so if you can't take it don't read i'll tell you when it ends  
**Kyo woke up to a spiting headache his vision was blurry and he couldn't quit place his thoughts he didn't know where he was and he felt a weight on his stomach. He went to rub his eyes to subdue some of the blurriness but when he tried to move he felt restraints on his wrists. He snapped his eyes open and came face to face with a burly guy. He was about 275 pounds of pure muscle and was very tan, however Kyo couldn't see his face it was covered in a mask. Kyo started to panic he had no idea what was going to happen but he knew it was going to be bad as he looked around the room he noticed two other guys, one was about the same size as the one on-top of him but was much paler and the other one was a tall six foot five skinny olive toned guy all of them were wearing masks to console there identity. Kyo took a sigh of relief he knew that if they where hiding their faces they weren't going to kill him. But he quickly started to panic again, "if they're not going to kill me then what are they going to do to me?" he thought to himself. Turning his attention back to the guy on top of him he growled in the most threatening voice he could muster in his weakened state "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME?" the guy on top of him merrily laughed at him and bent down to whisper in his ear "oh you'll like it I promise. I'm going to make you famous." seeing the look of confusion on Kyo's face he decided to elaborate "do you see that camera over there" he motioned to the far left side of the room where the other two men were the camera to the right of them. Why didn't he notice that before? Kyo thought to himself though his thoughts were interrupted when the man started to speak again. "Well when my friends over there turn the camera on I'm going to fuck you till you beg for more and when I'm done with you my friends are going to take turns with you to." He leaned down closer to Kyo as he lightly stroked down his chest to his penis emeting a violent shiver of fear from Kyo who had gone ghostly pale. The man then whispered something Kyo would forget and started to rip Kyo clothes of ignoring the cries, pleas and begs to stop coming for the shivering boy.  
**Okay you can look now it's over. I feel like such a bad person for putting Kyo through that :( any way on with the story.**

Yuki woke up at about 11am it was Sunday so he didn't have school and could sleep in he got up got dressed and headed down stairs for a late breakfast. As he descended he noticed two things one that it was still raining really hard outside and two that he was missing a certain annoying cat's voice. He knew that Kyo wasn't still asleep that stupid backwards cat could sleep past 7am if he wanted to which didn't make since given that normal cats usually slept all day. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he saw a very worried looking Tohru she was staring off into space with her brows pulled together tightly in worry. Yuki approached her and asked "Miss. Honda is everything alright? did something happen?" Tohru looked over at him and replied " i don't know Kyo hasn't come home and it's raining really hard out there I'm kind of worried that something might of happened to him". I looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile saying that "perhaps Kyo is just out hiding away for a bit I'm sure he'll be fine he'll come back when he's hungry." giving her another smile after he was finished though she still looked skeptical she said " Shigure is out looking for him now he's been gone for an hour. I really hope they're okay." Right when she said that the door opened and Shigure walked in soaked to the bone in water. He peeled off his coat and set down on the couch looking worn out. "Did you find him Shigure Tohru asked" Shigure sighed and shook his head "unfortunately in this rain I can't track his sent so I couldn't find him but I'm sure he'll turn up at some point. Hours passed and still no sign of Kyo it was starting to get onto Yuki's nerves when he saw that stupid cat he was going to ring his neck for making him no... not him Tohru worried. He wasn't worried about Kyo no not in the slightest he was just worried about Tohru that's all. Besides he didn't like Kyo why would he worry about him? When the time hit around 10pm and there was still no sign of Kyo Yuki told Tohru to go to bed and not to worry that he would stay up and wait for Kyo. Though Tohru was reluctant she was clearly tired and couldn't keep her eyes open she agreed to go to bed. Yuki sat at the table staring at a book not being able to focus enough to read it when about four hours later the front door slid open Yuki shot up and Kyo for half a second before Kyo quickly cast his down in what almost looked like shame. Yuki lost his temper and before he knew it he had Kyo slammed up against the wall he raised his fist to hit Kyo when he noticed that one Kyo was trembling and not fighting back and two he was covered in cuts and bruises his entire left side of his face was swollen his eye shut and purple his clothes were almost shreds of nothing and blood was dribbling down his legs. He instantly let go and asked in a soft voice "what happened Kyo? are you okay?" Kyo looked up but wouldn't look Yuki directly in the eye as he mumbled back barley audible "I'm fine I slipped while I was running this morning it took me awhile to get back but I'm fine" he said it almost sounded rehearsed Yuki might of cot on if it had not been for the initial shock he had from seeing Kyo in this state. Yuki cleared his throat and said "well you owe Tohru an apology you scared her half to death and next time why don't you just stay inside when it's raining you know what it does to you really this was all your fault and I'm not going to feel bad for you, you did this to yourself"

Every word Yuki said to Kyo was a stab in the heart. Didn't he already know it was all his fault? He did it to himself the guys even told him that, but why did it hurt so much more coming out of Yuki's mouth. When Yuki said it he felt even more dirty then when it was happening. He felt like nothing if Yuki knew the real truth he would probably just agree with him. He hurt everywhere all he wanted to do was crawl into a ball and die but he could let Yuki know that Yuki would look at he like he was disgusting he would probably bet him up then and there and tell him to get his filth away form him. Kyo just couldn't take that so he kept up his rouse and said "I'm going to bed sorry for making Tohru worry about me".

Yuki looked at Kyo again but he still wouldn't make eye contact it was probably because he was embarrassed for being such and idiot. Yuki nodded at him and Kyo slugged off with a noticeable limp however Yuki didn't take much mind to it the fully believed Kyo's story and new that if Kyo was seriously injured he would tell someone. Yuki locked the doors and turned off the lights in the house and was making his way to his room when he heard a soft sob coming form the bathroom accompanied by the sound of the shower being turned on he stopped at the door and listened for awhile when he heard no other sounds he shrugged blaming his mishearing on exhaustion and went to his room to get the last few hours left he had to sleep before school thanks to that stupid cat.

**well that was so sad i was crying while i wrote it please review and i'm sorry if it's bad it's my first story **


	3. The change

**Okay i know this took forever but this is the new chapter from now on i promise that i will update at least one chapter a week. However, if i get caught up in a crap lode of school work it might take longer. ps. if i suck please tell me now so i can save you from having to continue on further. Any enjoy and review even if it's to tell me how awful i am.**

Kyo woke up in the morning with a throbbing pain both in his head and in his backside. He groaned silently, "so it wasn't a dream" he thought to himself. He dreaded the thought of going to school, he dreaded the thought of seeing people he knew. They would surly know what happened if they saw his eyes he doubted the he could even look people in the eye. Mostly Yuki, Yuki already saw something in him the night before when he shoved Kyo into the wall. Kyo was terrified in that moment and when Yuki saw this he gave Kyo a look he never seen out of him before worry, and this scared the poor cat more than anything else even more than the incident. Kyo was startled out of his thoughts when a sharp knock came to his door. "Kyo, you stupid cat get up you're going to be late for school" came an exasperated sounding rat. "Sorry but i'm not going it seems that the weather is still getting to me i think i'm going to stay home. If i go to school right now i think i'll transform thank you though". Kyo timidly replied silently praying that Yuki bought it confirming so when Yuki replied with a simple "okay". Kyo thanked what ever god was listening and curled back into a ball to hopefully go back to sleep and forget that the incident even happened.

Yuki walked down the stairs in wonder never in the years that he'd known Kyo did he ever thank him for anything. He was mortified to say the least hell would freeze over before that stupid cat would ever thank him for anything, or so he thought. "What the hell is wrong with him" Yuki thought. "Wrong with who?" Tohru said startling Yuki "crap did i say that aloud" he thought for real this time. "Oh nothing Miss Honda i was just talking to myself. Good morning by the way and Kyo is fine just so you know he came back last night just as i told you he would. Nothing to be worried about at all" Yuki said to change the subject. "Really is he okay? What time did he come in? Why was he out so late? Did he even say why he was out so late? Did something happen? If he's back then why isn't he down here eating breakfast? Is he going to school?" "Miss. Honda calm down he's fine a little worse for the wear" Yuki stopped seeing the look of horror on her face and quickly said something to sooth her. "He fell in a ditch or something and it took him awhile to get back but he'll be fine he only had a couple of scratches and bruises and he heals quickly so he'll be fine" he repeated to ensure that she fully understood and wouldn't freak out. "And as for school he will not be accompanying us it's for the better though with the weather and everything we can't risk him transforming at school." Tohru looked pale but nodded anyway to show that she understood. Yuki sighed, that was a close one, if he didn't think quickly she would of surely of had a meltdown then and there.

When Yuki's last class got out he met up with Tohru to walk her to work, he looked up and saw a beautiful blue cloudless sky and wondered to himself if Kyo was out in about. Probably so, now that he thought of it though he realized that it was like this all day not a cloud in the sky. "So why didn't Kyo come to school? Why did he lie to him?" as Yuki thought about this he started to get angry "that stupid cat skipped school probably because he was to embarrassed about what happened to let any one see him, but it was his own damn fault for going out in the rain in the first place if he was smart he would have stayed home and avoided slipping and falling into some ditch like a dumb ass and wouldn't of gotten hurt." After Yuki dropped Tohru off he stomped his way back to Shigure's house, he was going to kill that cat for skipping school. Who did he think he was? Kyo skipping school only looked bad on Yuki, the president, he could have his own cousin skipping class. When he reached Shigure's house he barged through the door and into the living room only to find it empty "maybe he went for a walk" he thought to himself but quickly dismissed it knowing the in his current state he would make it halfway down the trail before having to turn back. He knew the Shigure was gone he had some business at the main house and wouldn't be back at least for a couple of days. He headed upstairs and flung Kyo's door open with all of his might but cut short when he was about to yell. The door echoed in the eerily quiet room and had Yuki not known any better he would of thought that no one was in there, but he spotted Kyo on the far corner of his bed curled up into a little ball motionless. Yuki quickly started to panic he thought Kyo was dead "Kyo!" he shouted with an odd amount of fear sliced in. Kyo replied almost in a whisper "yes" Yuki had to strain to hear him. "umm um" Yuki cleared his throat of the confusion and shock and continued in his normal accusing voice he saved just for Kyo "why the hell didn't you go to school today and don't tell me that it's because of the weather because there isn't a cloud in the sky." now it was Kyo's turn to be at a loss of words he didn't know how to respond his excuse was gone what was he going to say now? "i'm waiting" Yuki demanded startling a response out of Kyo. "I'm sorry i just felt really sick and needed some time to recover" he said it in the same small voice as before forcing Yuki to have to strain to hear him again, but Yuki didn't even notice as he stammered "w-wwhat?" with a look of shock horror on his face this day was full of awful new's for him. First Kyo said thank you and now not only is he admitting weakness to his arch enemy but he is apologizing to him. Kyo opened his mouth to repeat himself but was cut off by a loud "STOP!, NO DON'T SAY ANY MORE!" Yuki couldn't take it any more it was just to much for him when he screamed he saw Kyo flinch, FLINCH, Kyo never flinched ever. Yuki was panicking, the end of the world was coming he stood there frozen for a second and then quickly reached for the door and closed it shut and walked away he had no idea what to do or what the hell just happened. All he knew was he never wanted it to happen again.

**Well what do you think any questions? If something doesn't make since all you need to do is ask and i'll explain. This chapter was mostly in Yuki's point of view, sorry but i had to develop what was going through his mind and show just how strange Kyo's acting. Well review and i promise i'll get another chapter up as soon as possible.**


	4. When the rat catches the cat

**okay yes this took forever and i'm sorry, i had a lot of crap going on and i was at a friends house, writhing gay love stories on someelses computer not a good idea, anyway on with the story. BTW the first paragraph is going to be a flash back in the forum of a dream about what "the incident" it will be italicized so if you can't take reading it just skip over till you get to regular print. Oh and before i forget there is going to be self-harm but i will warn you when it comes up. I don't own fruits basket or it's characters the only thing i own is this story. I think i forgot to put that in the other chapters... sorry. hope you enjoy **

_"Well when my friends over there turn the camera on I'm going to fuck you till you beg for more and when I'm done with you my friends are going to take turns with you to." He leaned down closer to Kyo as he lightly stroked down his chest to his penis emitting a violent shiver of fear from Kyo who had gone ghostly pale. The man then whispered something Kyo would never forget and started to rip Kyo clothes of ignoring the cries, pleas and begs to stop coming for the shivering boy. When Kyo's clothes were fully removed the man looked down at him with an greedy hunger that sent waves of fear through Kyo's body. "Well, well, well, look at you. You're so beautiful with that flawless caramel skin, not a single freckle mars you. I can't wait to carve my mark, it's not everyday i get a beautiful canvas like you most of mine have already been painted on if you know what i mean. However, you'll be my first, my first virgin that is." The man on top of Kyo slurred while rubbing up and down Kyo's still flaccid member. Kyo was to frightened and grossed out to react to being played with. "You're sick" Kyo spat at the man who just laughed at the pure hatred masked on Kyo's face. "Oh, no need to be nasty it's rather rude." the man said to Kyo as if he were talking to a little kid who just got caught stealing. "Because bad things happen to nasty little virgins like yourself" at that he dropped Kyo's member and snapped his fingers. The tall skinny guy walked over and pulled something out of his pocket. "Wh-at i-i-i-s th-at?" Kyo's studdered, fear obvious in his voice. "Thank you Tom" the guy on-top of Kyo said before answering Kyo's question. "Oh don't worry this will make you feel really good i swear. You'll like it" Kyo looked at the man's hands and saw what looked like a little blue gel pill. "What the hell is he going to do with that" he thought when suddenly his legs were picked up and pushed against his face. "Ah, what the hell ar..." he didn't get to finish his sentence as he felt the pill being pushed into his ass along with the man's finger making it go in deeper. "STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU PERVERT. DON'T TOUCH ME THERE." Kyo screeched. "Oh calm down little virgin give it a second, like i said this will make you feel good." the man grinned leaning over Kyo. He dipped his head down to Kyo's neck and lightly sucked getting a breathless moan of shock from Kyo. "Please stop you don't have to do this. I promise i won't tell anyone if you let me go now" Kyo pleaded. "now why would we do that" the man laughed "we're just getting to the good part." _ **okay it's over now on to Kyo waking up from his dream. **

Kyo bolted up from his bed soaking wet in his sweat, panting heavily. Tears were flowing freely from his eyes and he felt a huge tightness in his chest preventing him form being able to breath properly. He was shivering violently despite the fact the he was sweating profusely as he slowly got out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom not wanting to wake anyone up. He stepped onto the cold tile floor and closed the door silently. It was the second night in a row that he tried to stay up to ovoid the nightmares and the second night he had failed. He couldn't take the pain it was eating away at him taking the air out of his lungs. He needed to breath, he haven't been able to since it happened two days ago, and he started to feel himself panic. Air he needed air, but his lungs were like two dead weights in his chest. All of the things that happened before were starting to poor back into him, the pain, the hopelessness, the defeat. He couldn't take it anymore, he didn't want to feel any of this, all he wanted to do was forget. He started looking frantically through the cabinets and looking for something, anything to take the pain away. He stopped when he found a bag of little plastic depose able razors, Tohru's he knew for a fact that they were hers. There was about fifteen in the bag. "Will she notice if i take one" Kyo wondered as he slowly took one out of the bag. "No Tohru's to air headed to notice something like that" he reassured himself as he dismantled the little pink razor throwing away everything except for the two thin sliver razor blades that were trapped with in the pink prison. He sat down on the toilet in a trance the cool metal was reassuring to the touch whispering words of encouragement, promising relief from his pain.

**okay he is about to hurt himself so if you can't take it don't read it i'll tell you when it's over.** He placed on of the razors down and took the other into his right hand while turning his left arm over to reveal the under forearm. He felt anxiety mixed with excitement, "maybe this will take it all away, maybe i'll finally be able to breath again". he pressed the tip of the razor to his arm and started to add pressure when he felt it break the skin he took a sharp intake of air adrenalin pouring into his chest replacing the the dead weights with a floating relief. He could feel the air slowly coming back, but it wasn't enough. He dragged the blade across his flesh watching as his skin separated, blood rising and tipping over the edge in bright clumps. He was so mesmerized by the whole thing, he wanted to do it again, so he did he repeated this over and over again feeling lighter and lighter with each slash of the blade. He went deeper with everyone. It was like everything was slipping away, the crushing feeling of suffocation, the feeling of being unwanted, the self-hate it was all flowing away with the rivers of blood streaming down his arms and dripping onto the tile floor. The sweet pain of the razor was taking away the foul pain of everything he wanted to forget, it was a blanket of numbing that he so desperately clung to. **okay it's over he isn't going to cut anymore**

He was so caught up in his self-mutilation that he didn't hear someone knocking at the door.

Yuki was not a deep sleeper by any stretch of he imagination that's why he had to have his room across the hall from Tohru's and Shigure's rooms, they both snored and would keep the poor rat up all night if he were to have a room next to theirs, and next to Kyo's, he was a very quiet sleeper so it was the only way it would work. Though Yuki wasn't all that happy about it. Yuki woke up to a strange noise coming form Kyo's room. However it wasn't the first time for this to have happened, it happened the night before as well. Yuki would be woken up by small whimpers and strange words that would come form Kyo's room, words like "stop", "please no", and "don't" over and over again like a broken record. He didn't understand it Kyo never talked in his sleep. Tonight was different though it wasn't like the other night when Kyo simply stopped and Yuki went back to sleep. No tonight instead of it just stopping and being silent once again Yuki heard Kyo get out of bed and go into the jack-and-jill bathroom they shared. Then he heard some shuffling around and then silence again. Yuli sat up and looked at the bathroom door attached to his room and saw that the light was still on but no sound was coming through which didn't make since it was 5:30am on a Tuesday the time Kyo would normally get up to take a shower and get ready for school. However the shower wasn't running. Yuki decided to see what was going on and walked over to the bathroom door he knocked a few times but no reply came, "hey you stupid cat what the hell are you doing in there open up." the rat stopped short and thought to himself "what it the cat is jacking off?" he didn't want to see that, but when still no reply came he started to worry. "what if he passed out or something?" Yuki graved the spare key that he hid on the top of the door frame and slipped it into the door to unlock it. He silently opened the door and was met with the most horrific scene he'd ever seen. "Kyo what did you do?"

**okay i know i left on a cliff hanger and reading fanfiction myself i know how infuriating it is to get to a cliff hanger and having to think about how long it's going to take for them to continue, and to be totally ready to kill someone because you just have to know what the hell is going to happen (hence the reason i only read completed stories) but i promise i will get the next chapter up as soon as possible. I have a lot of ideas of how i'm going to continue and later finish this story out, so i need to sort through them and decide if i'm going to make this into a really dark and depressing story with a good ending, or if i'm going to make it into a mildly dark and depressing story with a good ending. I'm telling you though i have a really good idea for the "really dark and depressing one". Anyways review and tell me what you think... i'm sorry for hurting Kyo again it makes me really sad because i'm the type of person that lives in my story while i'm reading/writhing it, so i'm feeling really depressed right now :(**


	5. Who could blame an innocent rat?

**okay so i decided not to torture you with the cliff hanger and go ahead and write another chapter though this wont happen often i really just don't have the time. I don't own fruits basket or it's characters. Anyways i hope you enjoy. :)**

"Kyo, what did you do?" was all the rat could say as shock took over. He couldn't believe his eyes. Kyo was in front of him with a silver razor in his right hand, blood dripping from large gashes on his left. Yuki felt sick he was always squeamish at the sight of blood, and he felt light headed like he was going to pass out any minuet. However the horror of the whole situation was keeping him from blacking out. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to do something. He reached out to touch Kyo and get the razor out of his hand when Kyo suddenly flung himself back and away from Yuki only stopping when he hit the wall behind him. Kyo noticing he was cornered slowly slid down the wall, brought his knees up into his chest and started sobbing uncontrollably. "Please don't touch me, please just get away from me. I'm sorry it wont happen again. Just please please I'll be good i swear. Just don't hurt me. I promise I'll be good." Yuki stopped dead in his tracks he had never in his whole life seen Kyo cry before his chest tightened painfully what the hell happened to Kyo. "Kyo, it's okay i wont hurt you i promise" Yuki said in a soft calming voice he only used on Tohru, as he knelt down in front of Kyo taking note of the visible flinch in Kyo as he did so. He gently placed a hand onto Kyo's shaking leg trying to sooth him. "Kyo please just look at me I promise it will be okay i wont hurt you, I'm not mad i promise."

Kyo was frozen in fear he was scared of Yuki beyond belief he knew what Yuki was capable of, he was a lot stronger than the cat and Kyo was well aware of it. "Please I'm sorry" was all Kyo could choke out before another round of sobs erupted from him. He felt arms rap around him and soft whispers in his ear "It's okay Kyo there is nothing to be sorry for I'm not going to hurt you, just tell me what happened. Why did you hurt yourself?" Kyo started to panic, he couldn't tell Yuki the truth it would ruin everything. He always knew he was an outsider, that he was unwanted, unloved, but he never thought the he was worth nothing, well that is until now. He couldn't bear the thought of Yuki being even more disgusted with him than he already was. "I can't I'm sorry I can't please i can't" Kyo started to repeat over and over again his panic levels rising. He was hyperventilating now while he was choking back sobs.

Yuki was watching Kyo lose it while he was holding onto him "Why can't he tell me? What the hell happened? Why is he so scared?" Yuki thought to himself, but instead he said to Kyo "it's okay you don't have to tell me, just give me the razor and let me bandage you up okay?" He asked Kyo he knew he was in a fragile state and he didn't want to push him, but blood started to stain his night shirt Kyo's arm still freely flowing.

Kyo looked up a little surprised by how nice Yuki was being, he quickly looked down though when his eyes met said rat. Kyo saw pain in Yuki's eyes mixed with confusion, but underneath it was a warmth that the cat never seen from the rat before it was a kind of protective caring that Kyo never seen from anyone for that matter, well other than his master that is. In that moment he knew that Yuki wasn't going to hurt him so he slowly lifted his right hand and gave up the razor.

Yuki let out a sigh of relief, as he slowly picked up the now strangely calm cat and sat him on the toilet once again. He got the fist aid kit out and started to bandage up Kyo's arm. Yuki counted about 20 deep horizontal gashes and about 15 vertical ones while he quietly worked. He decided to push his luck and try again. "Kyo please tell me why you did this to yourself". "I can't" was the only response he got back. He started to get angry at Kyo for not trusting him and for being so damn difficult. "DAMNIT KYO JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK WOULD MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING THIS STUPID, I MEAN REALLY I KNEW YOU WERE STUPID BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE THIS STUPID". Yuki screamed turning his concern for the cat into anger. He looked at Kyo and saw him shaking, not in fear but rage.

" LIKE YOU CARE ANYWAYS YOU DAMN RAT, YOU HATE ME I'M NOTHING TO YOU I'M NOTHING TO ANYONE I'M NOTHING." his voice stared cracking at this and silent tears started to flow down his cheeks but he didn't even notice as he continued. "I'm nothing" he repeated softer "AND IT'S ALL YOUR DAMN FAULT, EVERYONE HATES ME. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DAMN RAT I WOULD BE SOMETHING PEOPLE WOULD LOVE ME! DAMNIT EVERYONE LOVES YOU EVEN AKITO LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE! AND YOU KNOW THAT I'M FORCED TO FIGHT WITH YOU, THAT IF I DON'T BEAT YOU AT LEAST ONCE I'LL GO INTO EXILE, AND YET YOU STILL DON'T EVEN TRY TO GO EASY ON ME. WHY? WHY DO YOU SUDDENLY CARE NOW? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME DIE IN PEACE? OH I GET IT YOU JUST WANT TO WATCH ME SUFFER YOU WANT TO SEE ME IN ISOLATION NEVER BEING ABLE TO BREATH FRESH AIR AGAIN. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T NOTICE IT BEFORE. I MEAN I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU COULD HATE ME THAT MUCH BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG. AND WHY SHOULDN'T YOU I'm trash anyways i'm nothing anyways" Kyo finished in a whisper realization hitting him in the face like a ton of bricks "he really does hate me that much" Kyo thought to himself though he didn't know why it hurt so damn much.

Yuki was in shock to say the least he didn't know that Kyo felt this way his anger was leaving just as fast as it came replacing itself with guilt and regret. He never wanted to hurt Kyo this bad. He blamed himself for what Kyo did to himself, little did he know the real reason for Kyo's self-mutilation. "K-yo" his voice cracked as he tried to hold back his own tears "Kyo i'm so sorry i never meant to hurt you like this please forgive me" he said as he reached out to touch Kyo. However, his hand was slapped away "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME SO STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU DO IT MAKES ME SICK" Yuki's heart sank at the words it was like a dagger in the heart with everyone that came out of Kyo's mouth. He slowly rose to his feet and made his way to the cabinet and graved all of the sharp things he could find along with all the pill bottles and left the bathroom quietly shutting the door behind him but before he fully closed it he whispered "you're not trash" but he doubted that Kyo heard him. He through all the stuff he gathered from the bathroom and put it on his nightstand before crawling into bed and curling into a ball he felt water running down his face and realized he was crying. It had been years since Yuki cried, but he hardly even noticed the pain and guilt consuming him. He never knew that he cared about Kyo until now and it was to late Kyo hated him. It was Yuki's fault that Kyo hated himself to. He lied there with the image of Kyo's blood staining the back of his eyelids preventing him form going back to sleep. "I have to make this right" he thought to himself as he started to think of a plan to make things right.

**okay so what do you think? do you think that Yuki will figure it out? or will he have to find out through someone else? review and tell me if it was any good or if you have any questions **


	6. why is the rat so oblivious?

**i am so sorry this took so long to update i had exams and i moved so it was just a lot of crap going on. i hope you can forgive me**

Yuki upon hearing the alarm clock screaming next to his ear slowly sat up in bed. It was 6:30am and he knew he had to get in the shower and get ready for school. The events for hours before felt like a dream, however one glance at the bedside table told him otherwise. All of the sharp objects and pill bottles were piled up onto the table. Yuki sighed feeling like his lungs were filled with rocks constricting his heart and making him want to burst into tears all over again. "It happened, it really happened" Yuki said to himself as he slowly made his way to the bathroom. He paused at the door not wanting to go in there after all that had happened, he had an irrational fear that Kyo would still be on the other side, still bleeding, still blaming him for everything, still hating, hating him and hating himself. Yuki didn't want to see Kyo so broken, he couldn't take it, it killed him inside. He braced himself, took a deep calming breath and entered the bathroom. When Yuki opened the door it was not at all what he expected, in fact it was the exact opposite, the room was spotless not a single speck of dirt (blood) anywhere. "Kyo must of cleaned up" Yuki thought to himself, letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

When Yuki was bathed and dressed for school he made his way down stairs for breakfast, he sat at the table and instantly noticed Kyo. He was in his normal spot across form him. Kyo was looking a lot better than the last time Yuki saw him, which was covered in blood and sobbing, however Yuki could see the dark circles under Kyo's eyes for lack of sleep and the slight redness from crying. The sight made Yuki's stomach twist in the knowledge that it was a his fault. Yuki was soon knocked out of his trance by Thoru's voice. "Yuki are you alright?". "crap i must of blanked out" Yuki thought to himself. "oh yes i'm quite alright Thoru i just had a long night" though upon seeing the panic pleading look in Kyo's eyes he quickly added "i got a letter form one of my 'fan girls' and had to come up with a plan to let her down gently" Yuki looked at Kyo again only to see him put his head back down though he looked a bit more relaxed. "Oh i'm sorry to hear that i hope all goes well" came Thoru's replay. "Don't worry about it, it will turn out fine it always does." Yuki said with a reassuring smile.

The rest of the meal went by as it usually did with the exception of Kyo's annoying but somewhat comforting babbling that Yuki never knew he'd come to rely on. It was like a ring or a peace of jewelry you wore all the time, you never realize it was there until it wasn't and you had a nagging feeling as you reach for it only to come up empty handed it was like torture to the poor rat. Yuki even tried to egg Kyo on by asking Thoru if she would make leeks for dinner knowing full well that Kyo hated them and when that didn't get a rise out of him, he even went as far as to ask Kyo directly if he thought Thoru should make leeks.

However, the only response he got out of Kyo was a "that sounds fine make what ever you want Thoru". If this was the normal Kyo he would of jumped up to his feet and started raving about how he "hated leeks" and how he was going to kick "that damn rat's ass" but none of that was the case Kyo just sat there staring blankly at his untouched food until it was time to go to school. Yuki was starting to get annoyed, more than that he was starting to get scared, "did i really take the fight out of Kyo?" he thought to himself. His plan was to rile Kyo up and get him to fight and then he was going to let Kyo win, he thought that it would give Kyo back some confidence and drive him to his old self, but he couldn't even get a reaction out of him.

As they arrived to school Kyo quickly ran to his class not sparing a single glance back at Yuki and Thoru. Yuki sighed "what am i going to have to do to get a reaction out of him?". Time went by in a horribly agonizing stretch Yuki did everything he could think of to get something out of Kyo. He got Thoru to make leeks for a couple of nights and when that didn't work he got her to make all of Kyo's favorite food, needless to say Kyo didn't even seem like he noticed in fact Kyo hadn't barley eaten anything since _that night_ and was starting to lose weight though Yuki doubted anyone but him noticed, given that finally exams were coming up and everyone was busy studying and preparing for them.

Kyo hardly talked and he never made eye contact. Yuki could hear Kyo quietly crying himself to sleep every night, he could hear him tossing and turning in his sleep, he could hear the muffled pleas "please don't hurt me" "please stop" "don't, no more i can't take it",he could hear the gasps as Kyo would wake up with a start, he could hear the bathroom door open and the shower start hours before it was time to get up and get ready for school and Kyo would be in the shower for hours crying. Yuki would often times knock on the door and ask to come in only to be told to "please just go away" though Yuki was persistent and would try for hours saying things like "please Kyo just talk to me" or "please just let me in let me help you" though Kyo would ignore his begs.

Yuki didn't know what to do he was getting desperate nothing was working and he couldn't take see Kyo like this anymore the dead haunting look in Kyo's eyes were slowly killing the rat and he needed to put a stop to it, he just didn't know how. Yuki was losing sleep and was starting to fall into a deep depression the worse off Kyo got the worse off Yuki would get it was like they were tied together and Yuki was starting to drown in Kyo's despair, Yuki decided to make one last stitch effort to help Kyo. He was going to walk into his room while he was having one of his nightmares and comfort him, he was going to tell Kyo that he didn't hate him, he was going to tell him how much he meant to him and how he wasn't nothing and that he was not alone that Kyo had Yuki and that he would never and could never hate Kyo.

And so Yuki did just that, he was ready and when he heard Kyo's nightmare start he went into his room and woke him up very gently "Kyo wake up it's okay it's just a dream" Yuki soothed "NO!" Kyo woke up with a start violently shoving Yuki off of himself and started shaking "NO NO PLEASE DON'T NO PLEASE" Kyo was hysterical, Yuki looked at him with shocked eyes and started to reassure him "Kyo it's okay it's just me it's Yuki i'm not going to hurt you so please calm down". Kyo blinked a few time adjusting to the light and looked over at Yuki and relaxed a bit. He quickly averted his eyes after accidentally making eye contact with said rat. "what is it you need" Kyo asked the still slightly startled Yuki cleared his throat "Kyo i wanted to tell you this for a long time now but i could never bring myself to do it, in fact i didn't even realize it myself until just recently and i...um... really wanted you to know..." Yuki scratched his head nervously taking deep calming breaths. Kyo wa now looking at him strangely "what does he need to tell me? why is he so nervous?" Kyo wondered while looking at the rat who was silently panicking trying to come up with a way to tell Kyo what he felt.

"the hell with it"Yuki thought and decided to just say it and get it over with. "Just like ripping off a band aid" he reassured himself.

"Okay i'm going to say this and i don't know if i can repeat it so listen closely" Kyo nodded in understanding and Yuki continued

" Well here goes nothing... Kyo you have been acting off lately ever since i caught you in the bathroom... um... ah..."

it was hard for Yuki to say it out loud and his throat was starting to contract painfully at the memory but he push forward anyways

"when you cut yourself, anyways i thought a lot about what you said to me then, about how you thought i hated you and how everyone hated you because of me, and well i wanted to tell you that...that isn't true, well at least not for me..."

Yuki sighed impatiently he couldn't put what he wanted to say in the right words fast enough and it was frustrating him to no end. Kyo wasn't helping at all he was just staring blankly at the bed covers brows knotted in confusion. Yuki pushed forward

"what i'm trying to say is that i... well i don't hate you... i... well ...i ...um...i feel the opposite of hate towards you...i ...love...you..."

Yuki ended with his arms folded tightly in front of him looking at Kyo waiting for his response.

"What?"

Kyo looked at him with a look of utter hurt and confusion.

" You can't mean that, you don't love me. WHAT IS THIS SOME TYPE OF SICK JOKE? WHAT DID YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE FUNNY?"

Yuki was in shock he didn't know what to say "i just pored my heart out to him and he thought it was a sick joke?"

Yuki thought to himself "did i treat him that badly that he thought i would lie to him about something like this?" he couldn't even fathom the thought. "No Kyo isn't a joke i would never joke about something like this, what i'm telling you is true i do love you i would never lie about this. Just look at me look into my eyes you can tell i'm not lying".

Kyo slowly raised his eyes to meet Yuki's and was met with tenderness and truth that Kyo had to look away. He couldn't look into Yuki's eyes not when he was looking at him like that, with such love and tenderness, not when he himself was such a dirty disgusting person. He was defiled he was gross he was worthless, he let the men touch him like that, let them do all those awful things there was no way Kyo could face Yuki know that. He couldn't take the shame, he couldn't tell Yuki and see the love and tenderness turn into disgust he couldn't take it. Before long Kyo was sobbing uncontrollably something that was becoming a common occurrence. Yuki looked at him and felt pain in his heart yet again and hugged the broken cat to his chest

"Kyo please don't cry it's okay you're not nothing you never were and you never will be" Kyo gently pushed back shaking his head "but i am, i am nothing if only you knew you wouldn't be so nice to me. If only you knew you would hate me you wouldn't be touching me or holding me like you are right now... if only you knew"

"If i knew what Kyo what aren't you telling me please no matter what it is you can tell me i'll still love you i promise just please tell me Kyo please" Yuki pleaded taking hold of Kyo's shoulders.

"i can't i can't tell you i couldn't take your reaction please don't make me tell you please Yuki just let it go. Just let me go please Yuki just please trust me it's for your own good" Kyo said eyes cast down once again, hot tears still freely flowing.

"no Kyo i can't let you go and i won't, if you don't want to tell me that's fine, but i will not let you go so please don't push me away let me be with you let me help you in any way i can please, Kyo, will you let me" Yuki asked in a voice that had so much raw emotion that Kyo couldn't refuse, though he wanted to. He slowly nodded his head and Yuki graved him and through him into a bone crushing hug something that Kyo never had before. Kyo felt warmth and comfort in the embrace, he didn't want it to end, the steady pulse of Yuki lulling him to sleep, for a moment he forgot about everything it was just him and Yuki and no one could take that away form him. Or so he thought at the time, no one would find out and he could be with Yuki forever, but it never ends like that and soon Kyo would learn. Happiness never lasts exceptionally if you're the cat.

**okay so i know this took like five years and i'm so sorry about that i just had a lot of crap going on so i decided to make it up to you. When i was reading back over my story i realized that my summary didn't match my story at all so i wanted to ask you guys or gals if you would be interested in coming up with a good summary and of course if i pick yours i will be sure to mention you in the summary for example i would put (written by so and so) anyways if any of y'all want to do it just write it in the review section like, put (possible summary " Summary") and i'll consider it. Anyways i hoped you enjoyed it and if you don't understand something feel free to ask and tell me what you thought about it was it good? was it bad? should stop? or should i keep going? anyways i'm going to bed it's like 3:30am and i'm beat.**


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